My sister popped over today, as she often does on a Friday. Nothing strange in that you might think…
However, while I was on the loo having a rare 3 minute break from the kids (my god I relish those toilet times now) I came out to discover my sister pulling out my drawers, going through my laundry bin and sifting through my pots and potions.
The nosey bitch!
I asked her what the hell she was doing, rooting through my stuff like a tramp searching for a discarded Special Brew – and she merely laughed and said she was searching for my secret.
“What secret?” I asked, confused.
“How can you look so good?” She queried. “The answer must be in here somewhere….” Indicating to the dirty tights she was holding in one hand and the spaghetti hoops she had in the other .
I smiled back and said “My dear – the answer cannot be found lingering amongst my dirty linen and it’s certainly not laying forgotten in some dark forgotten cupboard somewhere….”
And after some persuasion I produced the answer for her, relishing the delight in her eyes.
“This small pot of yoghurt makes me so beautiful” I told her sweetly. “I no longer look like a sleep deprived mum of two, my wrinkles disappear as if by magic and the beauty shines out of my face like the brightest star on the darkest night….”
My sister took a lick of the spoon that I proffered her and gasped in awe. I could see the beauty begin to shine from within her. She was no longer saggy and sunken but suddenly buoyant and bedazzling. The effect was magical. Disney would have been proud.
“This yoghurt will change my life..” She gushed.
“Well It certainly changed mine.” I replied *
* I apologise for the complete bollocks in this week’s blog but if anyone has seen this particular yoghurt advert they will know where I am coming from…
Beauty, my arse – the best yogurt does for me is make me slightly more regular – which at least gives me some more toilet time….