writing | Polythene Pram

I took the decision a few weeks ago to put the first few chapters of my novel on Authonomy (anyone who’s interested can check out the link out here –

www.authonomy.com/books/42657/the-blog-of-maisy-malone

I figured that it wouldn’t hurt to grab a little exposure, gain some feedback and perhaps find my way onto the Editor’s desk. Because that’s the point of it I guess, the secret hope that your novel will end up on the Publishers highly polished desk and be recognised as the next best thing since the last ‘next best thing’.

But sadly, I don’t think it really works that way. After a few weeks of having my book going up and down the charts more randomly than Cliff Richard on acid, I have concluded that there is no logic in the rankings. Nor sadly is there much to be gained in the feedback you receive, although it does plump your ego, the majority of users heap glowing praise at you in the hope that you will respond in kind. And of course you do, because we’re British and good like that. Also, who doesn’t like positive comments? You would have to have a heart of steel not to get a tiny glow from the sugary words that are thrown at you. But then the doubt creeps in. Along with the million requests to ‘read and rate my book’.

All of this is undertaken in the hope, the desire, to fall into the top 5 and be plucked out by the fat fingers of the editors for a further review. A review, not a request to read your novel. I have a feeling that you have more chance of becoming Simon Cowell’s adopted love child than securing a publishing contract this way.

So I guess I will bow out. And continue to search for an agent/publisher in the usual, bog standard way. It’s hard, it’s soul-destroying at times, but its real. And that for me is enough.

Wish me luck!

It’s amazing the conversations that you hear on buses. Honestly, I’m tempted to stay on one all day long. I’d probably get my novel completed in no time. Maybe it’s unfortunate that I don’t use them more often, but I don’t for two reasons:

1) They are expensive
2) I hate buses (see earlier posts)

I was forced to travel today due to my stupid high-heeled shoes that were NOT designed to be walked in and a three- inch blister that threatened to weep any second (as did I!)…

Today, two women clambered on the bus after me. They looked normal enough. One was middle aged, with glasses and a long sour face. The other was younger, with plump features and a nice jolly face. They squeezed into the seat behind and started nattering at a rate that almost defied logic. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I can talk fast. But these two seemed to have no requirement to breathe.

I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on their conversation, but you do, don’t you? It’s human nature. Like if you see someone fall over on their arse, you have to fight the instinct not to laugh.

The conversation went like this. This is a true account. I can only assume that they both worked in the same shop.

“Poor Linda has to do all the deliveries now and she’s the manager. I mean, a manager shouldn’t have to clamber up and down the stairs in a sweat. It’s not right…”
“I know. But Angie can’t do it. She’s 65. She has a heart attack every time she goes up the stairs.”
Every time? Shit, she must be keeping the cardiac wards busy…
“But I can’t do deliveries with my chest…”
Maybe you should try using you arms then….
“I know. But you know that if I lift anything, my eyeballs could pop out…”

Yes. That is honestly what they said. I dread to think what the shop is like. It sounds like a set of a horror movie.
Even worse, I was sucking a spherical boiled mint at the time. It kind of felt wrong in my mouth after that…
I regretted getting off at my stop as I couldn’t find out more. I also can’t stop thinking about poor old Linda, trying to manage with those two!

Polythene Pram

A skint, frustrated mum of two with a deranged Dad and mentally unstable cat – making sense of the world.

Tag Archives: writing

Authonomy….Profitable or Pointless?

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