Tag Archives: travel

I Hate Buses – Part 3

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Oh no surely not another bad experience? Doesn’t the girl ever learn you might think…..And you’d probably be right.

Trouble is, it was a really hot afternoon, I had a whining little girl dragging on my arm and huge bags of shopping – what bloody choice did I have. Yes, I could have walked, but I would have looked like a sweaty sumo wrestler by the end of it, with arms dangling down by my ankles – never an appealing look at any time of the day.

So the bus it was.

The start was promising as it was pretty empty, although the driver was fairly surly and barely raised a smile, as he thrust my change at me.

I pushed the buggy into the all-too small space and plopped myself down in a nearby seat with my relieved daughter (she has declared she hates the sun and only likes the rain, bodes well for our summer holiday abroad)

But then another buggy struggled on and wedged beside mine. This buggy was a huge designer type thing, all singing and dancing but so bloody obstructive. I swear to god expensive buggies are not made for public transport – only to be gently pushed along posh city streets,

I sat there staring at these two prams, now looking like one merged beast and knew with a sinking heart there was going to be a problem when one of us got off,

And of course the first one to ding the bell was me. I went to move my buggy and of course the wheels locked with its new best friend. It took a huge tug from me to pull mine free.

Because of this my handbag fell to the floor releasing a load of cheesy puffs that I had in there in a handy (but not very secure) Tupperware pot (to keep the kids happy). The bloody things went everywhere – how did so many fit in such a little tub? And I couldn’t leave them could I? I couldn’t be such an obvious litter bug…

So there I am, on the dirty bus floor gathering up my puffs, feeling the glares of the passengers around me as I delayed their bus further.

Even worse I then released that by bending over, my skinny jeans was exposing rather too much of my not so lovely bottom cleavage to an elderly gentleman seated opposite me

“Best view I’ve had in ages love…” he declared as I scampered off

Seriously, am I cursed on these wretched things or what?

Bum Cracks by candiceecidnac

Bum Cracks, a photo by candiceecidnac on Flickr.

Commuter Carnage

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Thameslink Platform by James Guppy

A typical day .

My poor Husband has the displeasure of commuting to London everyday to earn a crust.

His train is frequently late, there are never any seats – and when there are, someone has usually dumped a bag on it, putting the comfort of their fake Luis Vitton ahead of the achy backside of a fellow commuter..

There’s one woman who always arrives at the platform edge at the last minute, only to barge through to get on before any passengers have gotten off. She’s about as popular as a fart in a lift – and apparently, she smells like one too.

Then there’s the guy who always listens to loud country music through oversized neon blue headphones. He takes up two seats as well, though not intentionally. One for each cheek. He’s reminiscent of ‘Sad Sack’ in the Raggy Dolls…..

Earlier this week, my husband managed to get a seat opposite two fellow commuting friends – so they naturally spent most of the journey in conversation. As they pulled in to City Thameslink, a woman clawed her way against the flow of disembarking passengers to scream at my husband.

‘I JUST HAVE TO SAY HOW INCREDIBLY DISRESPECTFUL YOU ALL ARE FOR TALKING ON THIS TRAIN, AND DISTURBING YOUR FELLOW PASSENGERS!!! YOU DON’T HAVE A CARE FOR ANYBODY ELSE AT ALL! IT’S AN UTTER DISGRACE!’.

Cue stunned silence.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realise they’d banned talking on the train’, Hubby muttered. He turned to another commuter.

‘Were you bothered by our conversation?’ No, came the reply – but with a look that said ‘don’t get me involved in a conversation with that crazy woman’….

The loony lady shuffled off, muttering under her breath. As soon as the doors closed, the entire carriage erupted into conversation. She’d given them plenty to talk about.