Sex in your Seventies

The newspaper was thrown in disgust this weekend, as my Dad read yet another article that displeased him. This piece in question was about the fitness queen Jane Fonda, and beneath her beaming face was the declaration that she was still having sex at the age of 78.
“Why the f**k do I need to know that!” My dad was raging. “Who gives a tiny shi**e whether she is still shagging at her age?”
We were trying not to laugh, but it’s hard not to get drawn in when your elderly father gets so excited about a subject. His cheeks were puffed out, his eyes were bulging and his fag was in danger of falling free from his open mouth.
“At nearly eighty years of age she should have a little more decorum!” He declared. “Like your mother!” His hand flapped loosely at our Mum who was calmly eating her toast and largely ignoring her ranting husband.
“Perhaps I should go out on my chariot (my Dad’s term for his scooter) and shout out to all and sundry that I’m still having sex at 76!”
This was met with silence as I don’t think any of us wanted to contemplate the thought.
This is yet another image I’m trying to burn off my mind.
Thank you Jane Fonda!

photo by emrogo on Flickr

Little Pitchers….

When I was little my Mum used to say to me (wise old woman that she is):

“little pitchers have big ears.”

Which totally confused me, because I thought she was talking about paintings on the wall. Therefore I assumed she had completely lost the plot.

Thinking about it, this same ‘wise woman’ used to say (if she suspected it was a going to be a nice day):

“there’s enough blue (sky) to make a Dutchman a pair of trousers”

So she clearly isn’t right in the head…

Anyway, her first expression came to my mind this week when taking my daughter out for a walk with a friend.

My little girl, like most three year olds, likes to point out everything in passing and asking what it is. This could be anything from a buttercup to a discarded TV aerial (yes, we passed one today)

It just so happened that on this day, we passed a large Victorian building that is currently being used as some kind of detention centre.

My daughter stared at the couple of young men leaning lazily smoking against the doorway and asked loudly “What is that place for?”

“It’s like a very big school.” I answered quickly.

“For those big men?” She asked pointing.

“Erm…yes…” I sort of tugged her away and then whispered at my friend “at least they thought they were big – silly bastards.”

“Are they a bastard?” Came her little voice, suddenly not so little. And her finger was still pointing.

I didn’t dare look as I dragged her away.

So yes, little pitchers do indeed have very big ears.

And loud mouth mummies have very red cheeks.

a photo by Fire 'n Ice on Flickr.